Tim Dowling: now it’s my wife’s turn to declare war on the squirrel
My wife and I are arguing. “It’s not wide enough,” I say. “Nothing here is wide enough.”
“Look,” she says, “this one says it’s wider.”
“That’s not what that number means,” I say.
“How do you know?” she says.
“That number clearly refers to the width of each individual hexagon, in millimetres,” I reply.
“You shut up,” she says.
I suppose a part of me knew that this day would come: at some point, we would be married long enough to have a stand-up row about chicken wire just outside the back doors of B&Q. But I also know that the simmering resentment I am feeling at this moment isn’t really... read more
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