Virgin bride hit honeymoon husband because she was scared of his 'hairy, scary cucumber'
She branded it a "hairy, scary cucumber", far too big for her to handle.
And she feared it would destroy her vagina when the footballer tried to score with her for the first time.
Groom Mnombo Madyibi - nicknamed Anaconda by friends - ended up with a bandaged head after his new wife struck him with a wine bottle, he said.
The frustrated 32-year-old, who used slang to describe his mighty manhood, revealed: "All was well and she enjoyed the foreplay.
"But all hell broke loose the moment I took off my underwear.
"My wife said she wanted a 4-5 inside her punani, not an... read more
- 17:22 Police searching for convicted drug farmer who walked out of open...
- 17:21 Booze sales plan for town centre shop rejected
- 17:20 FTSE 100 surges to a fresh record high
- 17:20 Doncaster mums helping others to beat post natal depression
- 17:19 Sylatech reaches for the sky after securing work with global giants
- 17:19 Man had to have skull surgery after being stamped and kicked on...
- 17:18 Spike in help for Wigan hedgehogs
- 17:18 This brilliant Marc McNulty insight sums up the fun and...
- 17:18 Wiganer conquers Iraqi danger mountain
- 17:18 Syria war: Army takes full control of Damascus after ousting IS
- 17:17 Speaker John Bercow admits muttering word 'stupid'
- 17:15 Lottery win for Cumbrian resident
- 17:15 Workington youngster prepares for open water charity swim
- 17:15 Police officer recognised for diversity work in Cumbria
- 17:14 Victims urged to come forward after sex pest strikes in Chester...
- 17:14 ‘The system has failed to help my sick son’
- 17:14 Legacy funds low-cost homes in Warwick
- 17:14 Theatre review Inside the heart of darkness
- 17:13 Crackdown on 'dangerous' school parking in Doncaster
- 17:13 Is Abramovich at last paying the price for being too close to Putin?
- 17:12 Man Utd and Chelsea backed to complete mega swap involving Willian...
- 17:12 Liverpool ace Sadio Mane fires warning to Real Madrid ahead of...
- 17:12 ‘The system has failed to help my sick son’
- 17:12 Students gain top marks
- 17:11 Children 'threw rocks at heavily pregnant woman' in Coventry
- 17:09 Hospital plan at former BBC studios in Birmingham set to nearly...
- 17:09 Give me five! Steve Bruce explains what's driving him on to succeed...
- 17:08 Prince Harry and Meghan Markle official wedding pictures released
- 17:08 Former Man United and Ireland star Darron Gibson dodges jail after...
- 17:08 The Golden Years: Why Yorkshire is the best place to enjoy retirement